Phsycodramatic

I should knew that it’s not real

But it seems so real

I don’t want to believe it

But I just hold it

Summer just left, here come autumn

Where all leaves are falling slowly

Yesterday I felt alive

Today I don’t want to fall

The sun was shining

Now I can see the cloud

Summer just left, here come autumn

Where all leaves are falling slowly

Green turn to yellow

As blue turn to grey

I am still I am

Although the season is changing

Summer just left, here come autumn

Where all leaves are falling slowly

YTSW / 08092008

Now,
My eyes have opened
See things that i couldn’t see before
Understand the reasons of what i felt
I don’t belong here ’cause nothing i can do
everything here is perfect,
I suppose to be somewhere else
Where the system is not perfect
Where my presence will make differences
And that is the reason why i am here
Today

-YtsW-

Fake live i’ve been living in, and i’m tired of it.
Getting weaker every day, struggling with my own life/mind.
I’m dying now, my life is over.
I got no body to talk
Someone i really trust, someone who know me well
I got stuck in this situation, a mistake i did a year ago
and i just have to finish it, although i have no strenght anymore
My life completely in disaster
no bright future i can tell
just me and my mind who speak to me every day, hour, and minute
blame, disappointed, anger, shame, and all kind of responsibilities are haunting me
no place for happiness anymore..
i will never be free anymore.. those days are ended.
i cannot move from the place i sit right now

Have you ever think to end your life, just because you want to run from things that come up in your life?

"Well, i have and it comes often…"
                         -Trisna S. Wicaksono-

I’ll be there

To hold you with my own hand

And feel you with my own fingers

And kiss you with my own lips

Just wait

Living in a stone of wrecked ship

Behind the shadow of tears

Shaking from the cold of this holly night

Trying to standing on glittering glass

**YtsW**December 28, 2007

Everything seems different than in dreams

Never guess what gonna happen cause it never happen

Feeling too cold in winter night

Everything goes not like in plan

But i cannot stop, only do what i have to do

Although lips hard to smile

And heart full with question

Should I go, where and when

Or should I stay until my heart scream

Tired and very tired

Sadness around try to make me cry

But stone will never cry

Only shattering in pieces

Is this life I should live with

Alone in sadness

Waiting to drench until no breath can be taken

And laying down

In those shattered stones

By..

                YtsW.. 28 December 2007

The sky is blue

Is my heart feel it too

Dreaming of you

But there’s nothing new

Living in a lie

Makes me never fly

To reach the sky

Where my future lay

Stuck in a shadow

Makes my heart sorrow

My nerves stop to grow

Like there’s no tomorrow

Why I am here

Between all my tears

Try to standing still

Trying to be healed

… By

YtsW … 28 December 2007

Sometimes there’s a moment when you feel you were lost.. and  after that you realize that you can do anything if you want to…

Living alone sometimes good sometimes not… being visited by distraction emotion is everyday moment. sad, mad, nuts, and all their friends become friends, and for sure is alcohol made it worse…
Well sometimes you need it but it is not the best idea.. maybe coffee shop goodies are better.. ah it;s same.. it’s getting worse  the day after.
However,
some inspiration come in lonely time, although sometimes it;s too much…
but the thing is
Every moment has it means
————confusion is the sound of the heart—————–
hearing voices, and it must not from someone else, cause there is no one
————–to feel where you belong—————cause you are not in the right path–
–or–you already in the right path——–but you are not sure, and what would you do after it——-???
Well basically, you can be anything you want, as long you really want it =====
—-====== believe in yourself=——-the hardest way to do——-
Much easier to believe in God………..

Silent in the roof top, looking at stars through the thick dark clouds, facing the breezing winter wind…
What the hell happen…  not at the bottom neither the top
only can see darkness and a little bit light
screening all possibility in life
……………………………………………..
here i am speaking within words